Amanda Bynes Meltdown In Full Swing, Solidifies Herself On the Mount Rushmore Of Crazy

TV Guide – Amanda Bynes is at it again, this time tweeting topless photos of herself to her more than 800,000 followers. Bynes tweeted photos of herself in a black lacy bra in a bathroom Wednesday, and later tweeted pictures of herself without the bra on. One of the topless photos, in which Bynes uses her arm to cover her breasts, is captioned “Rawr!” andthe other is captioned “Long hair don’t care.” According to posts on Twitter, a friend of Bynes called police after she posted the photos and officers were sent to her home in New York City. “I just spoke to @AmandaBynes and she is soooo messed up on drugs and please @NY_POLICE find her and help her! I don’t know her address!” publicist Jonathan Jaxson tweeted late Wednesday. Shortly afterwards, Jenny McCarthy tweeted, “Police are at @AmandaBynes house. I hope they get her help. Enough of this circus. She needs help.”

Nipples coming out. Police getting involved. Bynes drove straight off a cliff in the past 11 months and there’s no stopping her plummet that inevitably ends in jail, rehab or death. As it stands now, we’re around Stage 3 on the Meltdown Scale, Britney Spears level. Here’s the official breakdown:

Stage 1 – Mariah Carey Meltdown – Remember when Mariah Carey went on MTV Cribs and got into her bathtub while wearing a towel? Then like a day later went to a mental health facility? Thats Stage 1. Nothin crazy, just straight up bizarre behavior.

Stage 2 – Paris Hilton Meltdown – Gets a bunch of DUIs. Drug arrests. She’s as dumb as a balloon and has no idea how the non billionaire world functions. Eventually sucks dick on camera.

Stage 3 – Britney Spears Meltdown – Plagued by mega-star fame rivaled only by guys like Michael Jackson, Britney went completely off the reservation. Paparazzi in her face since she was 16. Touring for over a decade. Eventually shaves her head, walks around barefoot in gas station bathrooms, had her children taken away, and I’m pretty sure she got married and divorced like 5 times.

Stage 4 – Lindsay Lohan Meltdown – From the Parent Trap to her parents literally trying to trap her and steal all her money, Lohan is the poster child for crazy. Her meltdown was not a sharp decline line that of Bynes or Spears. Her meltdown was like a volcanic eruption and she is lava is just slowly, permanently sliding downward into the depths of hell. Countless DUIs. Infinity trips to rehab. Multiple stints in prison. I think she emancipated from her parents and had restraining orders filed on her own family. She is the bottom of the barrel for Hollywood Starlet behavior.

So as of right now, I think Bynes is beyond Stages 1 and 2. She’s hovering somewhere in the 3, 3.5 range. She’s shaved half her head. She’s exhibiting strange behavior in bathrooms. Very similar to Britney. Sidenote: what the fuck is going on with Bynes’ bathroom? Why is it a piece of shit? It looks like she’s in some NYC tenement  Which at this point, she may be. Just bizarre that her bathroom looks just like mine. Anyway, we need some hard drug use, some sort of violent altercation, and much heavier police activity to take this up to the Lindsay Lohan Level. I say by Memorial Day Bynes passes by Britney and establishes a new Stage 4 Meltdown all to herself. Lohan gets bumped up to Stage 5 until further notice. Bynes is the only one that can challenge her for the throne at this point.