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If Tiger's Top Ten Majors Were His Mistresses

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Tiger has done a lot of winning over his illustrious career. Let’s look back at some of the best wins, and some of the mistresses that accompanied them:

10. 2002 U.S. Open (Bethpage Black, Long Island)/Jamie Jungers

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The first major tournament played at a municipal golf course, on Long Island no less. While I have tremendous respect for Bethpage Black, it doesn’t change the fact that even the worst piece of Long Island trash can play it. Tiger bogied two of the final three holes and limped to victory ahead of Phil, who also bogied two of the last three. Overall, this victory was anything but clean.

Jamie Jungers was a blackjack dealer and “casino girl” in Vegas when they met. It’s hard to find any redeeming words about her, sadly. Years after their affair, she would be hunted by Dog the Bounty Hunter after skipping bail. Dog eventually found her, nearly unconscious, in a Las Vegas drug house. Well done, Dog.

9. 2008 Masters/Kalika Moquin

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Of course we all remember this Masters for Tiger’s chip-in on 16. It’s probably the greatest golf shot ever. But what people forget is that Tiger then bogeyed 17 and 18 to drop back into a playoff with Chris DiMarco. Sure, he won in the end, but it was a pretty ugly finish. And the clip of Tiger and Steve Williams missing their high-five after that shot? Cringeworthy.

Oh well.

8. 2006 British Open (Royal Liverpool)/Cori Rist

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The 2006 British Open is remembered for Tiger’s emotional breakdown after his final putt, a result of his father’s death just months before. It was also notable in that Tiger only hit driver ONCE throughout his four rounds at Liverpool. It was probably the cleanest performance of all his major victories, and golf enthusiasts marvel at how Tiger thought his way around the course, avoiding trouble. One might argue that Liverpool was a course that Tiger treated with great respect.

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Cori Rist embodies all those qualities: clean, classically beautiful, smart. Tiger met Rist in a Manhattan nightclub, not over the deep fryer at a diner. When her name was linked to Tiger, she offered “no comment,” unlike others who tried to barter their silence for condos and cash. Cori Rist is a class act. Where is she now? Probably reading a difficult book or running a fortune 500 company.

7. 2000 PGA Championship (Val Halla)/Julie Postle

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This relationship was notable in that Tiger stole Postle away from her bartender boyfriend, some poor schmuck named Brian Kimbrough. Aka Bob May. Kimbrough was the bartender at the Roxy night club in Orlando, where Julie danced. Kimbrough fought doggedly, but

Julie had Tiger’s contact saved in her phone as “Mr. Brightside,” the Killers’ track about a jealous boyfriend. In this case, Tiger was the jealous one–demanding that she break it off with Kimbrough, telling her to stop calling him. Her friends said he even “hunted her.”

“She was in his closet at 5 a.m. calling me, and he was in the background telling her to get off the phone. He knew she had a boyfriend and was like, ‘Don’t call him,’ ” Kimbrough said.

“Tiger was obsessed, really hunted her,” Nola Coles said. “He used to go into Roxy demanding Julie. ‘Where’s Julie? I want to see Julie.’ (NY Post, 2009)

Hmmmm. Hunting… now where have I seen that on a golf course before?

In the end, of course, the Wanamaker trophy went to Tiger, and Bob May became a footnote in history. Sorry Bob: to the Tiger go the spoiled.

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6. 2001 Masters/Loredana Jolie

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Tiger’s 2001 win at the Masters is the epitome of “vintage Tiger.” He birdied the 18th hole to seal the deal, fending off David Duval and Phil. In doing so, he completed the “Tiger slam,” which was winning the four major championships in a calendar year. This was a sexy, gorgeous win.

Loredana Jolie, meanwhile, was a stunning playboy model. The sort of woman you might expect to pair with the sexiest athlete of the decade. Nothing fancy here.

5. 2008 U.S. Open/Holly Sampson

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The broken leg. The torn ACL. The famous image? Tiger on his knees at Torrey Pines. The 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines was Tiger’s grittiest victory. He had to push through the gag reflex pain en route to the gutsiest victory we’ve ever seen. And it took an entire playoff round against Rocco Mediate to do it. Hell, even writing about it is getting me all excited. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some clips to watch.

4. 2019 Masters/Mindy Lawton 

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We’re all still glowing from this victory. But let’s remember a few things: Tiger won this Masters at 43. He’s the second-oldest Masters champion ever, after Jack. Mindy Lawton was 34 when she and Tiger hooked up. She is the oldest woman on the list by maybe a decade.

It had been 14 years since Tiger last won the Masters. Without doing the math, there might be an age gap of 14 years between Lawton and the next oldest mistress. Who can say?

Lastly, Mindy was a waitress at Perkins diner. Tiger had three back surgeries to get this win. Truly, a blue-collar pairing for the ages.

3. 2000 British Open (St. Andrews)/Jaimee Grubbs

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Tiger’s first Open Championship, at the most famous golf course in the world. He won by eight strokes, finishing at 19 under—a record that stood for 15 years—in another dazzling display of golf acumen. With this victory, Tiger completed the career grand slam at the ripe age of 24, the youngest player ever to do so. And lastly, it was the first golf event ever telecast in high definition.

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Jaimee Grubbs, by similar thought, was a beautiful cocktail waitress who would pose for Maxim and appear on reality TV. She also hopped on a TON of television shows to dish about her affair with Tiger. And finally, she was later linked to George Clooney (BOINGGGGG), though reps for the sexiest man of all time deny that he knows her.

TV cameras loved these two. And by that, I mean the win and Jaimee.

PS- if you name your daughter Jaimee and you spell it that way, you’re making a lot of decisions for her.

2. 1997 Masters/Rachel Uchitel

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In golf and, uh, compulsive adultery, you always remember your first. And here was the one that started it all. This was Tiger’s first major; she was the first woman named in the scandal. Hers was the name most frequently associated with Tiger’s infidelity, as though she had opened the floodgates to his ensuing misbehavior. In turn, we might credit Tiger’s 1997 Masters victory as the win that opened the floodgates to his incredible run of championships. Years later, we still tip our cap to Rachel Uchitel… and the ’97 Masters.

1. 2000 U.S. Open (Pebble Beach)/Joslyn James

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Simply put, Tiger did things to this course/woman that don’t make sense. While every other man at Pebble was overwhelmed by its ferocity, Tiger treated it like his master bathroom. He destroyed it. He left his mark all over Pebble Beach. It was his most dominant performance, the largest margin of victory in a golf major ever. Tiger won by 15 strokes, finishing at 12 under. The next closest competitors, Ernie Els and Miguel Angel Jimenez, finished at 3 OVER! And the crazy thing? He said he would do exactly that:

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Whatever he wanted, he did. Pebble Beach was Tiger’s whore, end of story. This was where we first started to understand the intensity of Tiger’s thirst, his desire to not only win, but to dominate. And the rest is history.