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Ohio Women Go Full Zoolander With Gas Fight After Being Accused Of Stealing Hot Dogs

In the Marine Corps we were trained to be cognizant of “weapons of opportunity” around us in every day life. Basically, if you stumble into a dangerous situation and need to attack or defend yourself but don’t have a proper weapon, you have to improvise & grab whatever’s around you. Maybe it’s a golf club in your car, or a big ass rock in your fist, or a beer bottle, etc.. Anything you think will help.

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Speaking of, at an Akron, OH Speedway Gas Station over the weekend the weapons of opportunity wielded by teen girls were as follows:

-Windshield washer squeegee

-Trash can

-Trash can lid

-Trash

-Gas hose complete with nozzle ripped from a pump (& swung around like a giant nunchuck)

-Gasoline

And why did they need to defend themselves in this manner?

They were accused of stealing the King of Meats, hot dogs.

Before you judge – who among us hasn’t been there at 3am on a Saturday? You’re a little drunk, bored, not sure why you’re at the Akron, OH Speedway, and then you see them… the hot dogs are gleaming on the rollers, silky, oily, oily, silky…

The line is too long, you’re short on cash, and hey, no one is looking & you’ve got pockets… With a quickness you snag a few with your thumb & index fingers while your other hand gets the coat pocket ready. That’s when some nosy do-gooder spots you & tries to kill your vibe, right as your about to get weenie for the weekend.

Here’s the blurb on what happened next from Cam Dancy, who posted their cell phone video of the occurance on YouTube:

so the story is, the girls were stealing hot dogs in the gas station and a lady caught them. so the girls jumped the lady and the big guy jumped in to break it up. so they got mad at him and the whole situation escalated. this is when I came walking through. they threw the entire gas station at him. ripped a gas pump off and tried to swing on him. guy who tried to break it up had a cigarette and coulda blew everybody up

There’s a disturbing part where a bigger guy fights back and knocks one of the girls over, but according to ABC, “The clip also shows a man pushing a woman down, but Dancy claims he was attempting to be a Good Samaritan and the women were actually attacking him.”

I like that the guy who tried to break it up in the end had a cigarette in his mouth as gas was flying. Everyone needs to watch Zoolander again for a crash course in safety because things could have turned out much worse.

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In the end, everyone scattered when the cops came, and no one got hot dogs. Sad.