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Mutated Snakehead Fish That Can Live And Breathe Out Of Water Invading NYC

NBC – Environmental officials are planning to survey a Central Park lake this week to search for an invasive type of toothy predator fish that threatens to disrupt the ecosystem. The northern snakehead fish, native to China, Russia and Korea, has been spotted in Queens in recent years, and one was quietly observed in Harlem Meer several years ago. The fish eats frogs and crayfish and has the ability to breathe air and live for days out of water in certain conditions. It is so disruptive that the state prohibits possession, sale and transport of the live fish and its eggs. Signs have recently gone up around the Harlem Meer warning anyone who catches one not to throw it back. The signs warn anglers to “secure the fish” and “keep it in a secure container until it is picked up by officials.” If park officials cannot be found at the boathouse, the sign urges anyone with a snakehead fish to call 311 and report the catch. The sign is “just to let people know that this fish is in there, if you find it please do not return it to the water and it also helps people become aware that there are things in the water that should not be there,” said Melissa Cohen, Department of Environmental Conservation fisheries manager. The man-made lake is located in Central Park’s northeast corner between 106th and 110th streets.

Nope. Absolutely not. I am out. I’m done. I’ve been thinking about it for years. Living here in New York City just doesn’t make sense anymore. We used to have a nice temperate climate with 4 seasons and now thats out the window. Winters are brutally cold. Summers are sweltering hot. We get hurricanes regularly now. Its expensive as fuck. Overcrowded and uncomfortable.

And now we’ve got mutant snakehead fish predators invading our waterways. No fucking thank you. Capable of breathing and living out of the water? Reproduces in large quantities? I’ve seen Piranha 3D, I know how this story ends. Its only a matter of time before one of these things swims through the sewers and up my pipes and bites my ballsack clean off my body when its dangling there while I take a shit. They’re gonna destroy the New York City ecosystem and continue to mate and reproduce and mutate until some giant fucking monster comes out of the Hudson like in that dumb ass movie Cloverfield. I can deal with the high rent and the crowded subways and the shitty weather – but mutant snakehead fish is where I draw the line. I’m fucking out.