Captain Blue Jacket Is Single Handedly Beating The Tampa Bay Lightning

If you have seen anything about the NHL Playoffs this year, you may know that the Columbus Blue Jackets are currently beating the shit out of the historically great Tampa Bay Lightning and wonder why that is happening. Well I think I may have figured it out. On Sunday I blogged about “face paint guy” behind the Blue Jackets bench.

No joke I literally gasped when the camera held on Torts ever-incredulous expression and showed this guy’s facepaint job in the front row. Look at how HD that facepaint job is. The stars, the lines are so crisp, it almost looked like CGI. I was flooded with questions. Does he have access to Hollywood quality makeup artists for free? Did the Lightning not know they’d have to factor him in to their gameplan before the series started? How far down does the silver go onto his chest, or is his entire body silver? Is he sitting in a cubicle with a completely bare face today? Does he live in a Blue Jackets themed van down by the river? Does he give Torts strategy ideas through the glass during the game? I shit you not there were maybe 50 more.

Thanks to the beauty of the internet, I was put in touch with “face paint guy” and had him call in to our radio show for an interview.

First of all, his name is “Captain Blue Jacket”, and he is giving everything he has to bring Columbus a first round series victory right now. The Blue Jackets have never won a series in the history of their franchise, and while that fact is still true for now, it might not be true for much longer. They are up 3-0 on the Lightning and look like a team possessed in the past month.

It turns out that Jon Cooper and the boys have come up against a force the could have never imagined battling.

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The girl who does his facepaint moved to Kentucky and he’s driven to Kentucky (3 hours) and back just to get painted before. The face paint girl is in town for this first round series, but if the Jackets take it past this next week, he’ll have to drive to Kentucky for the second round games.

Captain Blue Jacket saw some of the Lightning players at Starbucks before game 3 and 100% intimidated the shit out of them. He and some friends also went outside the player entrance after the game to chirp the Lightning bus as they were pulling away. In my opinion this is the type of passion that tilts things towards the home team.

His paint job is done by hand from a highly skilled artist!

I am so on the Blue Jackets side right now I can’t even tell you. Captain Blue Jacket deserves this series and by God he is going to will it into existence.