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Does Any TV Show Theme Song Slap As Hard As The One From "Malcolm In The Middle"? The Answer Is No

malcolm-middle

With Game of Thrones coming back this past weekend, it’s pretty easy to say that very few tv intro songs get you as fired up as when you first hear the drums and strings of the Thrones opening credits. At that moment right there, 9pm on a Sunday night after you’ve spent your entire weekend boozing and losing all of your money and you might be at your lowest point in life, you are ready to go to war for at least the next hour or so. If there was ever an alien invasion on Earth, I feel like humans would be completely fucked for about 167/168 hours of the week. But if those aliens were dumb enough to show up for that one hour right after everybody just listened to the Thrones opening credits song? Those bitch ass aliens get swept in 4 games.

So it got me thinking about some of the best intro songs in the history of television. And while I went into my research thinking that Game of Thrones was clearly the #1 seed, I quickly realized that I was wrong. Possibly more wrong than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Because if there’s one opening credits song out there that is truly unbeatable? It’s Malcolm In The Middle‘s.

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I think the true test to any great song is if you would feel comfortable listening to it while you’re driving with the windows down and the volume all the way up. If there’s never that point where you feel a little self-conscious and turn it down a little when you get to a red light, then you know you have an absolute heater of a track on your hands there. And let me tell you this–I’d be totally fine if the Malcolm in the Middle theme song with the only song I was ever allowed to listen to again. I mean if you listen to this song and you’re not screaming “You’re not the boss of me now” by the end of the opening credits, then you are dead inside.

P.S. – It’s always hard to go back and watch episode of Malcolm in the Middle and not think of Bryan Cranston as Walter White. Kind of makes it a little funnier though to just imagine they are the same character but at different parts of their life.

@BarstoolJordie