If You See This Guy Wearing His Boston Marathon Medal Tomorrow You Should Rip It Off His Neck

Ok longtime Stoolies know I hate marathoners. Why? Because there is no group of more pompous assholes in the world. Now don’t get me wrong. If you just run the marathon for yourself and don’t tell anybody you did it I have no issues with you. Unfortunately the #1 trait of marathoners is bragging to everybody they know that they ran it. It’s a cry for attention plain and simple. A way to say look at me! Talk about me! Tell me how awesome I am blah, blah, blah. Therefore I’ve sort of appointed myself as the watchdog of the marathon community. If you are going to brag about doing it I’m going to keep you honest.

So having said that if anybody in Boston sees this guy wearing his marathon medal around tomorrow I want you to rip it off his neck. Now I’m sure marathoners are fingering each other over this. Talking about perseverance and the will to win blah blah, blah. Well newsflash this is an automatic DQ. If you get helped across the finish line you are automatically disqualified. So whoever this person is they better not brag about completing this race because they didn’t. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t talk about what a huge accomplishment it is to finish while simultaneously having people being carried people across the finish line like a charity case. Not on my watch you can’t. If you can’t stand your should just be carried to the sidelines and dropped on the sidewalk. If you can’t make it across on your own power than you didn’t finish plain and simple.