The Most Satisfying Part Of Last Night's Game Of Thrones Episode Was Finding Out What Happened To Ed Sheeran's Character


Look at Benioff & Weiss giving the people what they want! I think most Thrones fans remember Sheeran’s cameo during last season’s premiere.

As is usually the case with shoving a seemingly unnecessary celebrity cameo into a beloved TV series, there was a backlash from fans. A BIG one. People were extremely mad online once Sheeran was announced on Thrones and his scene that showed that not everybody in the Lannister army was a bunch of dicks did not go over well. I think Cersei received more love from the Poors of King’s Landing during her Walk of Shame Shame Shame than Ed Sheeran did for his innocent guest appearance. It got so bad that Sheeran decided to retire from Twitter just to escape the horde of angry tweets.


So B&W decided to throw the fans a bone in a show that rarely does that by having three lovely whores tell the story of how Ed’s face was burnt off in absolutely horrififc fashion while also using it as a plot point to ensure Bronn’s bone continued to stay bone dry yet again as he continues his fruitless journey to get paid or get laid.


But before the Eddie haterz start popping bottles, they should realize that his story probably ends up pretty well. Trying to sleep without eyelids sounds awful, but I bet a few drops of milk of the poppy will help with that. And if Ed Sheeran has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t necessarily need to look like Jaime Lannister to land ladies if your pipes are golden. As long as the dragons didn’t roast his esophagus, being the guy that survived dragon fire and can also turn any pair of panties in the seven kingdoms into the hot springs where Jon and Ygritte got busy is not exactly the worst fate to suffer.

Blogger’s Confession: I have to come clean that I lied in that headline. The most satisfying part of last night’s episode was watching Bran become the most important character of the entire series after I bought all of his stock on the cheap last season before I knew the extent of his NSA spying powers, creepy stare loaded with unintentional comedy, and hard hitting #BranBombs that can reduce even the strongest character to emotional rubble. The #Branwagon has officially left the station and is heading straight to the Iron Throne or wherever the weirdo fuck wants us to go.

Also this picture was as bad a look for the Snow Squad as it was a good look for the Branwagon.



P.S. The person that got the username edsheeran on Instagram should thank the old gods and the new that Ed is happy being “teddysphotos” instead of yoinking the name for himself. Being a fan account that only posts Ed Sheeran pictures definitely caters to a niche market, but 1 million followers ain’t no joke.