60 Year Old Fire Captain Walks into a 7-Eleven Naked Because His 29 Year Old Girlfriend Told Him To
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Source – A 60-year-old Lynnfield fire captain is facing a disorderly conduct charge after his 29-year-old girlfriend “dared” him to walk into a 7-Eleven in Rhode Island and buy a soda while completely naked, police said.
John H. Walsh was arrested on April 3 by Middletown officers responding to a report of a man who had walked into the convenience store at 726 Aquidneck Ave. and purchased a Diet Coke with no clothes on, according to a police report.
A “visibly shaken” store clerk, with tears in her eyes, told officers that she was “horrified” at the sight of Walsh’s exposed genitals as he approached the register “with a smile on his face,” police said.
“It’s not funny at all. In fact, it’s very scary when you have someone come in, completely naked in the middle of the day,” said the 7-Eleven employee, who did not want to be identified. “He was extremely comfortable in the store, handed me the Coke, and smiled, never said anything. It’s absolutely the worst thing that ever occurred in my life. I really think this man should have to register as a sex offender. What he did is horrible. What his girlfriend did was horrible, and she should be charged as well.”
Walsh and his girlfriend, Tammy McDougal, were later tracked down on Miantonomi Avenue after the clerk told police that he had driven off in black Mercedes Benz with a Massachusetts registration.
When asked about what had happened in the store, MacDougal allegedly told police that Walsh is her boyfriend and that she had “dared” him to walk into the store while naked because he told her it was “legal” in Rhode Island.
First things first, let’s offer our sincerest, most heartfelt, sarcasm-free sympathies to that store clerk. Ringing a register in a convenience store is a ghastly, nightmarish experience as it is. You are utterly at the mercy of the people who occupy the lowest rungs of the evolutionary ladder. The indigent. The haunted. The deformed. Ones who live under bridges and won’t let you cross unless you answer riddles. On a good day, it’s a terrifying, hellish existence. To have a 60 year old man walk in hanging brain with a smile on his face had to feel to this poor, minimum wage woman like these were going to be her last moments on this wretched Earth.
With that out of the way, I’m not without sympathy for Fire Capt. John H. Walsh. What he’s given us here is the perfect example of what it’s like to get old. You can be a pillar of the community. A hero who’s spent your entire adult life saving people. Getting out of a sound sleep to go out into the freezing cold night to drag people out of burning buildings. To run into the danger, selflessly disregarding your own safety. Risking life and limb to help others. And yet, the moment you feel yourself turning into an old man, you’ll throw it all away – your reputation, your career, all the good works you’ve done – for some young ass.
and it doesn’t have to be particularly good ass, either. Just so long as it’s young. According to one report this is the 29 year old Tammy McDougal who convinced Walsh to ruin his life:
This below average sea donkey, this Omega Mu 2 a.m. beauty queen, this Rhode Island 4, had enough sway over this successful man of valor that he was willing to throw his life away just to give her a cheap laugh and maybe bone her. And why? Because her vagina is half the age his penis is.
That is how vulnerable an aging manchild is. Mentally, they’re basically infants, with no judgement of any kind, utterly incapable of rational thinking. This is how old guys lose their life’s savings, commit crimes, lose their families. This is in no way me defending him. If that was my sister having to stare at his dong in terror I’d have hunted him down and choked him out by now. All I’m saying is that, while what he did was 100 percent wrong, I can understand where he was coming from. Next time, just pick a better class of 20-something to ruin your life over.