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Ronald Acuña Actually Did Hit One 505-Feet

I could say a lot of things about this blast. Many things, really. Instead I’m going to keep it short and sweet: LMAO. Buddy,,, did you see that fuckin’ thing? What a hammer. He hit the dogshit out of that baseball, and typically baseball’s contain 0% dogshit. That’s how hard he hit this sucker. I haven’t checked that nerd computer program Statcast for the actual launch angle and velocity on this dinger, so I’m just gonna eyeball it and say it traveled no less than two marathons in the single flap of a hummingbird’s wings.