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My Man Arrested For Being Drunk AF And Shoveling Spaghetti Into His Face Outside A Florida Olive Garden

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Miami Herald - Diners exiting a Naples Olive Garden witnessed an unappetizing scene.

According to a police report from the Naples Police Department, officers were dispatched to the restaurant around 3:30 p.m. Sunday about a disturbance. The caller reported that there was a man asking patrons for money outside the establishment and yelling expletives.

When cops arrived, they encountered a shirtless man sitting outside on a bench shoveling spaghetti into his mouth with his hands. The individual, identified as Ben Padgett, smelled like booze, the report said.

KING. That’s what the kids say these days. And this is my king. He checks every box. Sunday afternoon, check. Drunk as a skunk, check. Shirtless drinking outside, checks. Shoveling never-ending pasta bowls from the Olive Garden into his mouth with his hands, CHECK. It’s hard to be as awesome as this guy. It’s kind of a life goal of mine to be drunk at the Olive Garden at 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon. Did you know most (if not all) OG’s have a bar? There are people who go to the Olive Garden bar every day. It’s awesome. Imagine being a regular at that bar? Just non stop breadsticks and drinking Peronis until the cows come home.

And that’s where this guy went wrong. It’s no crime to do anything he did. Eat that spaghetti with your hands to your heart’s content, my man. But do it inside next time. Though he was in Florida and probably wanted to soak up that sunshine. And that’s why I don’t blame him. That’s on the Olive Garden for not having outside seating. If he uses that defense in court he’s good to go.