I can’t believe I am writing a blog about how much I hate Hansel Robles considering he is pretty much as far away as possible from hurting my beloved Mets ever again, both in terms of playing across the goddamn country and in a completely different league. But FUCK Hansel Robles.
I should be geeking out as an old school wrestling fan that a reliever uses the Undertaker’s song because it means the game is about to REST…IN…PEACE. But that’s not the case because Hansel Robles is the one using the song. I don’t know if Major League Baseball should be the people in charge of clearing entrance songs for pitchers or if the person that made the song should give the OK. But there is no way that Hansel Robles should be allowed to take an iconic song like the Undertaker’s theme music and use it for when he enters a game to point at home runs he just gave up. The Deadman won too many Wrestlemania matches and world titles for that shit too happen. When I heard those bells toll as a kid, I instantly felt terror in my heart. There was an unstoppable force dressed in a trench coat, top hat, and long purple gloves coming to the ring to destroy whatever good guy wrestler that was chosen to be his next victim. No matter what they threw at Undertaker 1.0, he shook it off, rose from the dead thanks to whatever crazy magic was in Paul Bearer’s urn, roll his eyes into the back of his head then destroyed them with moves nobody his size should be pulling off before burying them with a tombstone. I used to have nightmares as a kid because of this scary motherfucker.
Meanwhile, the only nightmares Hansel Robles gave people were the Mets fans petrified of him entering a close game in relief for the Amazins and putting our asses directly in the jackpot. For Hansel Robles to use the iconic music of that legendary monster is a travesty to wrestling, baseball, and if we are being honest, humanity. The only relief pitcher that deserved that honor was Mo Rivera and he had an iconic entrance song of his own. But a guy who isn’t even the Angels closer, has a career ERA of 3.87, and is infamous for giving up moonshots that he points to as they enter orbit before chokeslamming his teams chances of winning through a table is CRAZY.
Now if you tell me Hansel Robles is using this music as a homage to the OG Sky Pointer, I would be less upset, even though Paul Bearer is on my Mount Rushmore of wrestling managers.
But Robles using Taker’s music as well as having his own entrance video offends me just as much as an old school WWF fan as it does a Mets fan, even if the video including that weird black hole picture is hilariously ridiculous.