Duke Basketball Fans Continue To Cement Their Legacy As The Most Hated Fanbase In Sports

DukeChronicle – The following is a guest column written by Michelle Picon, Trinity ’11, about her experience attending last Wednesday’s Duke-Miami men’s basketball game that the Hurricanes won 90-63.

During the Miami game last Wednesday, DukeBluePlanet posted a photo of my friends and me captioned “Found brave Duke fans in the Miami student section.” There are thousands of us, scattered around the countries by new jobs or graduate programs, who continue to be dedicated Duke fans despite new institutional affiliations.

Although we somehow walked away unscathed, our treatment at the hands of the Miami student body, mascot and senior administration was even more disparaging than the whooping our boys received on the court.

The following is our report from the trenches.

My classmates and I had been in line for the game for hours when the Dean of Students first appeared. He expressed his disbelief at our Duke apparel, and continued to express his disapproval even after we explained we were former Duke students excited to watch our team, and had no intention of actively cheering against Miami. He told us condescendingly that he would allow us to remain in the student line, but he assured us that on behalf of President Donna Shalala, they were not going to let us easily into this game to cheer for Duke in the front of the Miami student section. Ladies and gentlemen, I f—ing kid you not, the Dean of Students and the Vice President of Student Affairs stood between us and the stadium, allowing dozens of people to pass us in line as they lectured us on our apparently deplorable and wildly unacceptable desire to show support for our home team. Four-plus years as Cameron Crazies, hard-earned Duke degrees and constitutionally protected freedom of speech notwithstanding, senior administrators of the undergraduate campus dared scold us for wearing Duke blue to a basketball game.

Unfortunately, the immaturity and spite exhibited by the administration and the mascot was only amplified among the student body. About 1,300 students were in attendance, and I’m sure 1,200 of them had never watched a Miami basketball game in their entire undergraduate careers. Uninspired expletives, homophobic slurs and limp references to genitalia were the only “cheers” I heard from Miami students the entire game. Pause for a second and imagine that scene in Cameron.

That’s OK—we couldn’t either.

But what followed was even harder to imagine: During the game, the majority of the students standing near us would physically turn their backs on their own team in order to comment on the size of our penises. Meanwhile, Miami played the game of their lives unobserved. I leave it up to you to infer what these students are really passionate about.

Hint: It’s not basketball.

I will gladly admit that the Canes played an incredible game and rightly deserved that victory. But I walked away from that game ashamed and embarrassed to be even remotely associated with the Miami undergraduates. Although Duke played the worst game I have ever seen, I am still proud to call myself a Blue Devil. This experience only served to deepen my appreciation and respect for Cameron Crazies, an exemplary group of boisterous, witty and dedicated supporters—the sixth man, a true fan indeed.

First things first.  I’d throw it in the Indian chick no questions asked.  Anyway this letter is going viral today. Everybody ranting and raving about how insufferable and self-righteous Duke fans are and that’s obviously true. But the thing about this letter is that this chick is right about everything. Miami students 100% didn’t know they had a basketball team until this game. In fact I think this may have been the first sellout in the history of Hurricane basketball. Also not letting these sluts sit in the front row even though they were first in line is a joke. So everything she says is true. It’s just she so Duke. Just thinks her shit don’t stink. That being a Cameron Crazy is cool. That Duke fans aren’t the biggest losers on the planet.  Listen honey I wouldn’t wish being a Dukie on my worst enemy. Just squid city. And that’s not because I’m jealous. After all my Wolverines are the #1 team in the country. What do I have to be jealous of? Duke fans are just dorks plain and simple. No group of people on planet earth are more disillusioned by how society views them then the Dukies. They think everybody wants to be them. Nope. Everybody wants to stick you in lockers. Huge difference.