Anthony Davis Wore A Rather Cryptic Shirt For His Last Game As A Pelican

What could it mean? That’s all? Folks? Who are these folks he’s talking about? What is the “all” in reference too? So mysterious. So cryptic. Wait. No, it couldn’t be. I’ve heard that phrase before. Somewhere. Where was it…

Oh yeah. Every Looney Tunes episode to ever exist. That’s where. Now it makes sense. Anthony Davis is announcing, rather conspicuously, that he is joining the cast of SPACE JAM 2. Wow. What a scoop. Good for that fledgling little arthouse picture for finally attaching some star power after Giannis and every other NBA player turned it down. AD has plenty of acting chops, as seen in those Mobil 1 commercials, so this makes a ton of sense for everyone involved. And on set, LeBron can do all the tampering he wants. It’s a win-win really. Still weird this is the avenue they took to make a rather large announcement but there’s a reason Warner Brothers fired me back in 2004 from their marketing team. Wile E. Coyote planted TNT in my comically large Italian sub and dropped the plunger when I went to take a bite, exploding salami and various other deli meats in my face while spinning my duck bill around my head thrice thusly.

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The ringing in my ears has yet to stop and doctors routinely tell me there is no cure. I still feel they could have just told me to clean out my desk and I would have received the message loud and clear, but that’s their company policy so who am I to buck that trend?