My Man Bought A Private Island In The Keys For $8 Million And Then Was Promptly Arrested For Shoplifting $300 From KMart

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What would YOU do if you owned this house

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But still wanted to stick it to the man? Easy answer- you steal $300 worth of crap from Kmart, of course!

NY Post - A wealthy Florida Keys man found the dough for an $8 million island off Key West –but was apparently too cheap to cough up the cash for household items he stole them from Kmart, according to reports.

Andrew Francis Lippi, 59, the owner of the Key Haven “Real World” house used in 2006 for the 17th season of the MTV reality series, was arrested on a charge of grand theft over the weekend just days after he purchased the luxe 4.9-acre Thompson Island of Monroe County, The Miami Herald reported.

According to the news outlet, Lippi had swiped $300 worth of goods that included a Keurig coffeemaker, a Hamilton Beach coffeemaker, eight light bulbs and a bed skirt from a Key West Kmart.

A week before Lippi’s Saturday arrest, he bought Thompson Island from philanthropist Edward B. Knight.

Fucking love it. You know the number 1 way to get rich and stay rich? Don’t waste money. Bill Gates didn’t become the richest man in the world by wasting money for no reason. You always hear about how Warren Buffet lives in a modest little home and drives a car from the 1980s. These rich dudes are savvy.

Meanwhile, I think about all the dumb shit I buy, how I eat out/order delivery for literally every meal (that’s not hyperbole, I order every piece of food I put in my body. Not very cost-effective, I’ll tell you that). So that being said, I COMPLETELY understand why this man stole a bunch of shit from Kmart. You have to balance everything in life. When you buy an $8 million island off of Key West, you have to counteract that by then saving money. And what better way to save some cash than by stealing 8 light bulbs and a bed skirt? All those little purchases add up, and cutting corners is a great way to save.

When it comes down to it, this is just basic Finance 101. They teach you this sort of budgeting in every finance class at every Ivy league school in the nation. Spend and save. Buy and steal. Binge and purge. To every yin there is a yang. No one man is an island, but if you buy one for $8 million, furnish that shit with stolen goods from your local Kmart. It’s the only way.