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Chicago Dogs Of The Week

Sup gang. It’s about time you got off work and started boozing so it’s about time for me to show you all my friends this week. We’re extra excited because the weather is supposed to be nice this weekend, but we’re also very upset because the Cubs are 1-6 and look horrible. Nothing a trip to the local bar won’t fix.

Carl said we’ll be spending a lot more time in the bar now that baseball is back because he has to forget stuff before going to bed. Idk what that means but he’s been very cranky the last week or so. Maybe it’s because the Cubs pitching staff can’t command a fastball to save their goddamn lives. (His words, not mine.) Or maybe it’s because Jason Heyward is still getting regular playing time despite being the worst outfielder in baseball 2016-present. (My words, not his.)

Either way I know he’s sad and could use some cheering up so let’s get to my friends this week. This one’s for all the Cubs fans that could use a smile heading into tonight’s 3 game set with the Brewers. Bark if you think Christian Yelich is a virgin: