So What Happens To This Guy Now?

How about the poor son of a bitch the internet declared was a terrorist yesterday? He’s probably just some loser dad who wears the same blue fleece every day of his life. Carrying a backpack that looks like every other backpack in the history of backpacks and all the sudden he’s responsible for bombing the Boston Marathon. Probably had some 14 year old daughter who’s so mad at him. “OMG dad you’re so embarrassing! None of the other girls at school have dads accused of being terrorists!” I guess now he’s off the hook because of this:

Even though the Internet is saying one guy has turned himself in and he’s not responsible.  So right now its news sources like the New York Post vs. The Internet. Its blurred out facebook profiles vs. pictures with red circles from Microsoft Paint. Old, slow media vs. New, fast media. And the only thing thats consistent that we absolutely know for sure – everyone is probably completely wrong all the fucking time.

And poor Blue Robe Dad bore the brunt of it all. Guy’s cell phone was probably blowing up all day with family and friends and coworkers and the poor bastard probably doesn’t even know how to text back. Guy probably just wanted to stay on his couch and watch TNT movies all day and his wife told him to go outside or something. And then BOOM. Terrorist.

Unless of course….this is just his elaborate ploy and he is the real terrorist?

I wish everyone had to shut off their TVs and their computers for like 2 weeks until they figured this out.