Map Shows Which State Is Most Likely To Have A Miserable Thanksgiving

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So I understand these rankings. No one wants to go to a Thanksgiving where there is a vegan, a person who just has to bring up politics, and a poor person gearing up for Black Friday sales. Those rankings all make sense to me. If you’re stuck with any of those categories on Thanksgiving day either you probably want to put a bullet in your brain. But what the hell is the deal with the binge drinking rankings? Are they saying Binge Drinking is a bad thing? Because that makes no sense. That is literally what the holidays are for. We’re about to hit a stretch here, from Thanksgiving to New Years where it is socially acceptable to be drunk basically all the time. And not only that, it’s cold, so you can wear a ton of clothes and just be a big ball of drunk fat stuff for the next month without anyone saying anything. That’s the whole point of the holidays. You drink too much, you eat too much, you watch endless amounts of football, then you wake up on or around January 2nd and have the scaries for a month straight. So figure it out Estately. You almost got it, but the proclivity to binge drinking should be a positive not a negative here. No one wants to go to a holiday gathering sober. That is the true definition of misery.

Kentucky, West Virginia, and Mississippi coming in 1,2,3 for Black Friday rankings is the least surprising news of all time.