The All Chicago Parlay May Have Went 0-5 On Monday, But Today We Bounce Back And Go 5-0

There’s only a couple weeks out of the year that we really get to do this so we always gotta take advantage when it happens. Yeah, it’s not ideal when 4 outta 5 teams are bad (and who knows maybe the Cubs are bad as well), but I just can’t bring myself to fade any of them no matter how much I joke about it.

Let’s look at the slate:

12:10 – White Sox at Indians (Rodon vs Kluber)

I’m not a Sox fan so I suppose this is a spot where alot of us can fade, but we’re not gonna do it. Who cares if Corey Kluber is pitching? He can’t really do much better than Clevinger did on Monday. On top of that Francona was talking about how tough it is to play in this weather so their heads are in a different place.

Let’s not get crazy though…we’ll take that +1.5 at -135

6:00 – Bulls at Wizards

I gotta be honest. I thought long and hard about taking the Bulls straight up. They just got smashed by the Knicks and you know that Jim Boylen made these dudes run until they puked afterwards. There’s only a 4 games left. They don’t want to be doing that shit.

The Wizards are also a dumpster fire as well that have lost 7 out of 10 and just fired their GM.

But, I just can’t bring you guys to take Bulls +450 when they’re trotting guys named Walt Lemon Jr. out there…Bulls +11 is the move here

6:20 – Cubs at Braves (Lester vs Teheran)

I don’t care if Teheran is trying to have a bounce back year for a big time up and coming team. We have Big Jon on the mound and have looked like shit so far in the first 4 games. The Cubs absolutely win even if the score resembles a Big 12 football game between Texas Tech and Oklahoma State.

I just don’t trust some jackass in the bullpen to cover a run and a half so let’s go – Cubs +102

7:00 – Blues at Blackhawks

I don’t care that the Blues are a playoff team. I don’t care that they can improve their positioning during these last 3 games. More importantly though – you know who else doesn’t care? Patrick fucking Kane.

As long as 88 has a pulse I trust that the Blackhawks will not get embarrassed in their own building vs a team from St. Louis – Blackhawks +125

7:00 – South Florida at DePaul in Game 2 of the CBI Championship

The grand daddy of them all tonight as we get a game with some real meaning here. DePaul lost a tough one in the final seconds on Monday in Game 1 of their 3 game series vs South Florida in the CBI Championship. The final two games are in Chicago, and you’d be crazy to think that they’re going to let a bunch of Florida boys walk in here and take this CBI glory away from them.

What I love the most here is that Game 2 is at McGrath-Phillips Arena and Game 3 is at Wintrust so DePaul is really doing anything they can to throw the Bulls off.

DePaul -6 is an easy play at McGrath-Phillips as it’s on campus and will be filled with 3,000 Blue Demon crazies.

There you have it, everybody. After today you’ll be able to buy endless Miller Lites, French Onion soups, and beefs. If one single person fades this it’s instantly bad luck so lets not be wise guys around here, alright?