I've Seen Buttholes That Look Less Like Buttholes

Honestly, it’s outrageous. Simply outrageous.

I retired from the butthole eyes game but sometimes the people call your name from the stands and you have to go out on the edge of the dugout and give them a wave of the cap. This is that wave.

Pete hooking up with some of the hottest women in the world proves that women are just flat out better than men. 99 percent of dudes arent looking over a partner with ass eyes. The ladies do and they occasionally let us touch their breasts too. Incredible. Way to go, Kate Beckinsale. You’re a true hero!

When you’re beautiful yet humble enough to kiss someone with possible poop on their eyes