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Playboy Names UPenn The #1 Party School In The Country...Wait, What?

upenn - Playboy has released their ultra scientific list of the top party schools in the nature and the University of Pennsylvania takes the number one spot. This year is the first time Penn has even appeared on the list.

Believe it or not, the honor actually reflects nicely on the city. Editors apparently consider many factors including, access to nightlife and musical events and creativity when planning social gatherings. Here’s the list:

1. University of Pennsylvania
2. University of Wisconsin
3. West Virginia University
4. University of Arizona
5. University of Iowa
6. University of California, Santa Cruz
7. University of Miami
8. Colorado State University
9. University of Texas
10/ Syracuse University

Is this a troll job? Because the terms “Best Party School” and “Ivy League” should legitimately be mutually exclusive at all times. There are schools on the nicest beaches in the country with smokes ahoy where literacy isn’t even a requirement to get a degree. I’m not so certain a school filled to the brim with Asians who get disowned if their GPA falls below 3.8 has the time or the effort to have this honorable distinction.

Then I remembered the watch parties at Blarney Stone which would make the most experienced degenerate uncomfortable. There was no amount of Patriotic justification that should excuse drinking that much at 9 am on a Tuesday. That’s not even counting the bare knuckled brawls not seen since the 1890’s held at Frat houses directly after (or so I heard). I also recounted the time the UPENN lady lacrosse team went HAM on Fado earlier this year. Smashed windows, pot on the dance floor, sex in the bathroom. The works. Drunken broads were literally hanging from the ceiling off the light fixtures during the melee.

Yeah, it’s safe to say these nerds can throw down.