“LaCrOsSe PlAyErS aRe SoFt”
Over the weekend, Marshall Mathers aka Eminem aka the REAL Slim Shady, had this to say regarding the Alliance of American Football.
“ALLOWING THE PLAYERS TO ACTUALLY FIGHT WOULD BE KEY TO LEAGUE’S SUCCESS LIKE HOCKEY, I WOULD WATCH EVERY GAME” – Marshall Matthers 2019.
Now if you’re trying to dig through that tweet to spot a lie then let me stop you right there, save you some time, and tell you that you will not find a single one. I understand that there are a bunch of betas out there in the world of sports fandom right now who are constantly campaigning to get violence out of sports. But I can guarantee you that those people will not last. There is a war raging in the sports world between those who crave violence and those who want every sport to become a cuddle fest. And if you just look back throughout human history, the side of violence almost always wins.
But that’s not the point here. The point I’m trying to make is that clearly Eminem wants more fighting in sports. However, he’s never going to find that in the AAF. It’s just not going to happen. So why not get Eminem to stop wasting his time waiting for fighting to be allowed in the AAF when he can just start watching box lacrosse and get to see unreal tilts like this one on a nightly basis. I mean that scrap right there was the definition of just chuckin’ knucks. Those haymakers were being thrown with reckless abandon. Grab some jersey with one hand, try to break open a skull with the other hand. Nothing but heavy bomb after heavy bomb after heavy bomb. It’s like the NHL in the 70s only better because they’re not on skates.
All I’m saying is that I think Eminem just needs to be introduced to the sport of box lacrosse. I doubt he knows it even exists. All he probably knows about lacrosse is a bunch of kids playing at Duke and UNC or something like that. He doesn’t know that there’s an entirely different version of the sport that is essentially hockey on turf mixed with a little basketball. Once Eminem knows that box lacrosse exists, maybe he’ll focus on trying to bring an NLL team back to Detroit instead of an AAF squad.