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These Newscasters Trying To Speak 'Millennial' Is The Most Cringeworthy Video I've Ever Seen

Can you imagine being a student in that school zone, waking up already pissed off that you have to take the MCATS or Regents or whatever bullshit standardized test the state requires and seeing THAT? You’d blow your brains out.

I can’t tell if they’re trolling or they actually think they nailed that segment. It has to be a troll right? At least by the person in the control room who wrote the script. I refuse to believe that a group of adult human beings can be that clueless. They’re rubbing in the fact that it’s testing day while simultaneously making fun of the students. They have to be. If not, the entire station should be arrested.

The saddest part of the whole thing is that I understood it perfectly. Every single line of it.

Anchor 1: Good Morning TPS Students! It is testing week and it’s time to slay all day!

Translation: Make sure you kill it.

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Anchor 2: Stay woke…BEYOND fleek and get that Gucci breakfast!

Translation: Be aware/smart and look good doing it. (He used it wrong not me) and make sure you get a good breakfast so you can stay focused.

Anchor 1: Say, “Bye Felecia” to that testing stress because the weather’s going to be turn-  right Chris?

Translation: Say goodbye (Friday reference) to the stress you didn’t need it anyway and hello to the warm weather. It’ll all be worth it in the end.

Weatherman: Yas! Toledo weather going to be V lit during testing week, one-hundo P chance of success. Steve how about that traffic are we looking okurrrrrr?!

Translation: Yes! (the ‘E’ pronounced like an “A” as popularized by gay men) the weather is going to be fantastic and all of you have a one hundred percent chance of success. Okay? (Cardi B reference).

Traffic Guy: We’re talking turnt- won’t be an issue. No traffic problems around any TPS schools to keep you from taking those tests!

Translation: It’s going to be awesome, there is literally zero traffic and you’ll be able to get to your test on time.

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I hate myself for knowing all that. I hate myself even more for saying they were speaking ‘millennial’, but I didn’t know how else to classify it.