NEW: SKLZ | Barstool Golf Training Aids To Help Improve Your GameSHOP NOW

Is God Really All That Happy Ray Lewis Keeps Talking About Him?


Over his 17 year career, Ray Lewis has set a lot of NFL records. Not the least of which might be the unofficial mark for invoking God’s name the most times. Pregame. Post game. In game. When the fact of the matter is Ray and The Almighty might not really be all that close. If I’ve learned anything all those Sunday mornings before I got my Fantasy lineup set, it’s that it’s not just enough to throw God’s name out there. You have to live by His rules. The Creator is a strict disciplinarian. To put it in NFL terms, He’s not a player’s coach. He’s not Pete Carroll; he’s Tom Coughlin. He’s going to micromanage how you do things. He’ll fine you for only coming 10 minutes early to a meeting and it will seem unfair. But if you play by the rules and do what you’re told, He’ll lead you to the Promised Land.

The issue I have is it seems like Ray Lewis talks it up like the two of them are BFFs, when the fact of the matter is Lewis hasn’t always seemed to want to abide by the Heavenly Father’s Code of Conduct. Breaking it down for you, using God’s own autobiography as a reference guide:

1. Ray Lewis gives crazy, incomprehensible pregame pep talks.


What the Bible says:

“Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the Lord is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.” Samuel 2:3

Wrath-of-God-o-meter (on a scale of 1-10): 7. 13.75 billion years after He invented the universe, God has to be pretty damned sick of hearing guys use Him to get pumped up for a football game like He’s the opening riff to “Crazy Train” or something.

2. Ray Lewis owns a barbeque joint.

What the Bible says:

“And the pig, because it parts the hoof and is cloven-footed but does not chew the cud, is unclean to you. You shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall not touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.” – Leviticus 11:7-8

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 1 I have to think that if the Heavenly Father was really all that worked up about not eating pork, he wouldn’t have made bacon, ham and baby back ribs taste so good.

3. Lewis is still officially listed at 245 lbs.

What the Bible says:

“The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight.” – Proverbs 11:1

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 2 No one… not God, not even Roger Goodell… believes official height & weight measurements.


4. Ray Lewis said this week “I’m proud that the ride is still going.”


What the Bible says:

“The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.” - Proverbs 16:5

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 5. It could be worse. Even Ray Lewis isn’t celebrating Ray Lewis much as ESPN is.


5. Ray Lewis had six children, by four different women.

What the Bible says:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” – Thessalonians 4:3-5

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 8. This can’t be how God wants it. Otherwise he would’ve made Antonio Cromartie His only begotten Son, not Jesus.

6. Ray Lewis played for the U of Miami in the early ’90s.

What the Bible says:

“Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” – Psalms 1:1-6

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 8. 2 Live Crew was still roaming the Orange Bowl sidelines in 1995, right?

7. Ray Lewis does an elaborately crazy pregame dance:

What the Bible says:

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” – Ecclesiastes 3:4

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 1. God isn’t that uptight. I mean, the Bible is chock full of Creator-approved dancing. He’s strict. But he’s not John Lithgow-in-”Footloose” strict.

8. Ray Lewis had earned close to $100 million on football salary alone, plus endorsements.

What the Bible says:

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” – Mark 10:25

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 3. Taking money from Art Modell is doing the Lord’s work.

9. Ray Lewis likes to sport garish clothing.

What the Bible says:

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear.” – Peter 3:3

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 2. He gets a pass here.  It’s not every NFL superstar that can pull off Uggs.

10. Ray Lewis was indicted on homicide charges for the murders of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar after a fight outside a nightclub.

What the Bible Says:

“The manslayer who kills any person unintentionally, without premeditation, may flee there, and they shall become your refuge from the avenger of blood.” – Joshua 20:3)

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 9. The only reason it’s not a 10 is, what kind of a maniac goes after Ray Lewis and his buddies outside a nightclub?

11. Ray Lewis settled a lawsuit out of court by agreeing to pay the families of the victims.

What the Bible says:

“To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?” – Corinthians 6:1–8

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 4. Lawyering is the 2nd oldest profession.

12. Ray Lewis got rid of the blood-stained white suit he was wearing on the night of the murders and the clothes were never found.

What the Bible says:

“I will tread them in my anger, and trample them in my fury; and their blood shall be sprinkled on my garments, and I will stain all my raiment.” -Isaiah 63:3

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 9. Even Pontius Pilate washed his hands of blood in front of the crowd. He didn’t just toss his robes into a dumpster.

13. Ray Lewis testified against his friends in the trial.


What the Bible says:

“For it was not an enemy that reproached me. Then I could have borne it. Neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me. Then I would have hid myself from him. But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in a company.” – Psalms 55:12-14

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 9. I can’t remember if it was the Old Testament or “Goodfellas” that coined the phrase “Never rat on your friends.”

14. Ray Lewis plead guilty to Obstruction of Justice.

What the Bible says:

“Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right.” – Psalm 106:3
…and: “Do not pervert justice.” - Leviticus 19:15

Wrath-of-God-o-meter: 10. The league, the media and the football fans of Baltimore might have conveniently forgotten. But the Almighty and I haven’t.

Wrath-of-God-o-meter Average: 5.57.
Sorry, Ray. You had a nice career and all. But God’s just not that into you. @JerryThornton1