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Wake Up With Jose Canseco Smashing Baseballs

“You inject it in your gluteus maximus… Your butt muscle.” – Jose Canseco, 2005. 

Happy Opening-Day Week to all my filthy animals out there. The long winter soon ends with the start of baseball season and with it come all the things you love about life: better weather, more opportunities to have sex, etcetera etc.

This year I think we see a steroid-era level of home runs. Baseball  *needs*  a great season with the collective bargaining agreement coming up and I wouldn’t be surprised if they changed the balls or started putting amphetamines back in the gatorade cooler to get there. I know everyone loves to ride their moral high horse around the baseball field but can we stop pretending this wasn’t the best time to be a baseball fan: