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The Road to the Final Four: Round 1 (Iowa State)

Oh, so this is what it feels like to be the underdog? The Buckeyes are getting 5.5 points tonight to Iowa State in the Big Dance, and I’ll be honest, I haven’t felt this doubted as an Ohio State fan since…..well shit, since we played Michigan in football last year.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and act like this Buckeye basketball team is any good AT ALL. They started off 12-1 and now are 19-14. For those of you that are Cincinnati, Kent State, and Akron grads, that means we finished 7 and 13. I don’t want to strain you guys with any high-level arithmetic. But anyways, I also know that there’s not one thing in this world that we should be considered underdogs to Iowa State in. Iowa State is the second coolest college in the state of…..Iowa. No offense Trent, but what is there in Iowa? Corn and….corn?

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Get outta here you redneck hillbillies. This here is Ohio. The big city. We’re not going to be pump-faking and using the glass tonight. We’re not going to be implementing the bounce pass. We’re going to be throwing the ball up for an alley oop and then throwing it down on your corn fed asses. Jackie Moon would be proud.

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But even if you aren’t a believer in the proven fact that these mid-western states like Iowa move a little slower than the big cities on the east coast like Columbus, this game tonight is still a no-brainer. March Madness historians are on the Buckeyes tonight, too. This rivalry has been a BLOOD BATH since the tournament began back in 1939. Ohio State has never once lost to Iowa State. Check your record books. The boys beat the drums off those country hicks back in 1985 by the tune of a 75-64 massacre. Then, in 2013, it was even worse. Sure, the boys let those cousin lovers hang around for a little bit like it was the Homecoming Dance, but Aaron Craft (arguably the best college basketball player of all-time) sent everyone home with a big ol’ smile on their face with a buzzer beating three pointer.

But I’ll stay away from history for now. History always favors the Buckeyes, but it really means nothing to me in the present moment. This is all about tonight. What do they have, and what do we have? I’ve heard all about these guards from Iowa State. 18 points, 14 points, and 12 points per game for the Big 12 Champs? Ooooh, I’m shaking in my boots.

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Big 12 defenses stink. Always have and always will. Everyone knows that this game is coming down to the big fellas in the paint. And we’ve got the biggest of big fellas. And HE OWES US. Kaleb Wesson sat three games down the stretch due to an undisclosed suspension. He knows he let us down, and now he’s on his “Revenge Tour”. Not like a comedic Michigan revenge tour though. I’m talking like a 20/20 a night Revenge Tour. Feed the big man inside tonight, boys. Early and often. My man is HUNGRY!!!

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And if all else fails, we have the best blogger at Barstool on our side. Nate had a chance to take many teams for his selection in the Bud Light Busters, but he knew who he wanted. He took THE best team in the tournament. He took THE Ohio State University. Let’s go dancing, Ohio’s Nate. See you in Vegas.

Prediction:

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