Verizon Developer Outsources His Job To China So He Can Watch More Cat Videos Online

(Inquirer) — A DEVELOPER in the US was caught outsourcing his own six figure job to China for one fifth the price so he could spend his time watching cat videos on the internet, reports a case study from Verizon. No, this isn’t a joke. A developer for an anonymous critical infrastructure company, referred to as ‘Bob,’ was actually caught outsourcing his own work to China so he could spend all day browsing the web, something that Verizon noticed after it was alerted to odd activity on the firm’s VPN logs. “We received a request from a US-based company asking for our help in understanding some anomalous activity that they were witnessing in their VPN logs,” Verizon explained. “Plainly stated, the VPN logs showed [Bob] logged in from China, yet the employee is right there, sitting at his desk, staring into his monitor.” Further investigation from Verizon revealed Bob’s web browsing history, which showed just how he spent his eight hours. A typical day for the lazy developer consisted of surfing Reddit for two hours, an hour on eBay and two hours of Facebook and Linkedin updates.

The person who sent this story put “pussification of America” in the subject line which absolutely BAFFLES me. How is this pussification? This is old school America right here. It’s about as far from pussification as you can get. Making a forerigner do all your work for you for practically free? Does that sound familiar to anybody? It’s getting back to the roots of what made this country the great country that it is. Its foundation is built on the backs of foreigners and minorities while fat white guys kicked their feet up and watched cat videos. Is that kind of racist? Sure, it’s racist as hell. But it’s not wrong. America is about working smarter and with some bigotry, not working harder. So I commend “Bob.” He may have gotten caught but at least he chased the dream.