Pittsburgh Kid Goes To Pants Some Lady While Running and Whoops! It's An US Marshal

PITT – A man was arraigned this morning on charges he pulled down a deputy U.S. marshal’s shorts Tuesday afternoon as she was jogging along the Allegheny River trail. The woman was running along the trail that runs parallel to River Avenue toward the 16th Street Bridge when Robert Flynn, 19, of Troy Hill ran up behind her, grabbed her backside and pulled down her shorts to her ankles, according to a Pittsburgh police criminal complaint…She eventually cornered him on a staircase at an apartment building on Anderson. She said Mr. Flynn lunged at her and she kicked him in the crotch, grabbed his right shoulder and punched him in the face, the complaint said.

Aside from pulling this stunt in some ghetto somewhere and getting shot, this has to be the absolute worst case scenario in the history of pantsing. I think it goes getting killed, getting arrested by a US Marshal, and then maybe the person you went to pants tightened up their drawstrings/wears a belt. Those are the only 3 possible ways in which a pantsing attempt can go awry. Anything other than that and it’s hilarious. Laughs and high fives all around as some poor, unsuspecting loser has to pick up his or her pants from the floor and suffer all that humiliation. Unfortunately for our friend over here, however, he received a nice little kick to the dick instead of those high fives. Here’s the problem with Robby Flynn. His face. He has that look to him that sort of screams “restraining order”. I know that pantsing is funny and I get what he was going for. But the whole thing sort of loses it’s humor when you’re pulling down women’s pants on a secluded trail with a face like that. But if all goes well, maybe he can just tell the judge he was filming a prank video and get off scot-free.