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The Tug Rule Massage Lady is an Absolute Cougar

Massage

SourcePictured for the first time, this is the mystery masseuse who allegedly gave Patriots owner Robert Kraft an illicit ‘rub and tug’ at the now notorious Orchids of Asia Spa.

Shen Mingbi was named in court papers as one of two women who allegedly pleasured the embattled billionaire … The 58-year-old redhead has not been arrested or charged in the headline-grabbing sting, raising the possibility that she could be cooperating with authorities.

However her face can be revealed for the first time from copies of her New York State ID and Florida massage therapy license obtained exclusively by DailyMail.com. …

Mingbi handed over the docs to an official from the Florida Department of Health who inspected the raunchy business last November after cops raised concerns that they believed trafficked Asian workers were living inside.

In the newly disclosed records obtained by DailyMail.com, health Investigator Karen Herzog notes in her official report that the spa was safe and hygienic aside from some wear and tear on massage tables.

However she also included several images of a fridge stuffed full of food in her findings, spurring detectives from the Jupiter Police Department to sift through the spa’s trash where they uncovered napkins covered in semen.

Quick question: Is anyone still talking about human trafficking? I know those were the huge buzzwords three weeks ago. And for a while when I and others started calling bullshit we were told to wait. Just wait, and all that evidence all the those indictments would be coming any day now.

We’re still waiting. And the only thing coming are the clients at every Asian day spa in the country.

Instead what we get 21 days later is a report about Orchids of Asia being immaculate. Passing all the health inspection and with a fridge that sounds like no employee break room refrigerator at any place I’ve ever worked.

More to the point though, we get these mugshots of what has to be the hottest 58-year-old handjob artist I’ve ever seen. Mugshots are never flattering, either. I’d say she’s keeping it together for a woman half her age, never mind practically eligible to collect on her 401K.

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Remember everyone saying “If you’re a billionaire, why wouldn’t you just hire a service where the woman comes to your house?” There’s your answer. Why spend all that money and leave a paper trail and phone records when you’re not likely to get anyone with half the Cougarifficness of Shen Mingbi? Not to mention she’s a licensed massage therapist, so if you actually have time for the full treatment – say if you don’t have to catch a plane to Kansas City for a work thing – she can do a professional job.

She’s the reason a man, even a man of considerable means, would bring his business to Orchids. I am very impressed. Though not at all surprised. When you’ve had the best, you’ll settle for nothing less.