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Lady Takes A Pole Right To The Pooper After Texting And Driving Accident


KUSA – A woman admits she was texting and driving when she hit a pole that went through her car, piercing her thigh and buttocks. Elizabeth firefighters had to saw off the front and back end of the pole to get the woman out. Christina Jahnz says she was in the parking lot of Elizabeth Middle School on Wednesday morning because her daughter forgot her saxophone at home. As she was driving away from the school, she started texting her friend. “I was running late for a business meeting, so I did a voice text. I looked down to make sure it was all right. The next thing I knew, I was looking up, there was white powder from the air bags deployed,” Jahnz said. Then, Jahnz realized that the guardrail pole went through the front of her truck, through her buttocks and into the back of her seat.

People die from texting while driving all the time and it’s no joke. It’s a terrible tragedy and it’s sad as hell. But you (I) hear about those deaths, feel bad for a few moments and then next think you (I) know, you’re (I’m) checking Twitter behind the wheel because you (I) can’t stand to be disconnected for any amount of time longer than 10 minutes. But this broad who took a pole up the ass may have legitimately scared me away from checking for notifications while on the road. That is the absolute last thing I would want to happen in my life. I have no idea why this is more terrifying to me than death, but it is. If the Department of Transportation really wants to drive home the point to not text and drive, this should be their poster girl. Start showing commercials without the JFF middle-finger edit and before you know it, texting and driving becomes a thing of the past. Slap around billboards everywhere with this image and people will just start throwing their phones out of the car.

The only thing I’m not buying about this story is when she said she “did a voice text”. Yeah right, bitch. Nobody uses the voice text. Nobody. It never gets anything right and it’s the biggest pain in the ass besides taking a guardrail pole up the ass. You already admitted to texting and driving, I don’t see the big deal in going all the way after that. But I digress. Also, if anyone wants to fire out some tweets for me to read on my drive home from the Jersey Shore today, send them to @BarstoolJordie.