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You'd Have To Be The Biggest Virgin To Not Give Up Sex In Exchange For Less Traffic

always-sunny-traffic

Source – Traffic is so bad in South Florida, many commuters say they would give up sex to have an easier drive to and from work.

The new report says 22% of drivers would give up lights-out nookie so that they didn’t have to sit in traffic. But that wasn’t all. Almost half of South Florida drivers (48%) said they’d give up alcohol, while 29% said they’d drop Netflix to get rid of the bumper-to-bumper traffic that plagues the area.

The survey commissioned by Brightline and Lyft says a lot about how much people in Miami-Dade and Broward hate traffic. They despise it so much, nearly 30% said they would rather clean their office bathroom than sit in a daily commute.

Okay so not to brag or anything, but sex? Yeah I’ve done that shit before. A couple of times actually. And to be real with you guys…it’s pretty dope. Not gonna lie, I would 100% consider it to be an enjoyable experience.

With that being said, you need to look at everything in life on a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, you have the greatest thing in the world. And on the other end, you obviously have the absolute worst thing in the world. And now you need to ask yourself the question–is sex closer to being the greatest thing in the world or is sitting in traffic closer to being the absolute worst thing in the world?

All I’m saying is that I’ve never felt like I was going to break out into a murderous rage over a lack of having sex before. But when it comes to traffic? That murderous rage is every damn day. Every. Damn. Day.

Sex is great and everything but if you’re really looking to get off, just think about driving on nothing but open roads for the rest of your life. Whether that’s driving to work, driving to shore in the summer, etc. etc. Just think about a world where traffic doesn’t exist. I’ll give you a moment to go change your pants now.

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@BarstoolJordie