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Le'Veon Bell To The Jets On A 4-Year, $52.5M Deal And I Swear I Just Have Something In My Eye

Divisional Round - Jacksonville Jaguars v Pittsburgh Steelers

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This changes absolutely everything. That’s it. No more funny business. Le’Veon Bell is throwing the dark green (or maybe a little lighter green with the potential new jerseys) back on and coming to play football for the New York Jets. It finally fucking happened.

I’m gonna need a much longer time to fully process exactly what this means, so for now let’s just do a speed round. It means the Jets’ offense is going to be significantly improved. It means Isaiah Crowell isn’t the Jets’ starting RB anymore. It means the Jets FINALLY have an elite offensive playmaker who can be handed the ball and turn absolutely nothing into a huge play.

For those of you who might not know, Le’Veon Bell is really good at football. He’s one of those guys who if you watched a game with someone who’s never seen a football game, it wouldn’t take them very long to be like, “Hey, that number #26 is the best player right?”

His skills are obvious. His combination of elite patience and explosiveness put him in a class of his own, and allow him to be successful with one of the more unique running styles the league has ever seen. The way he kinda tip-toes his way to the line of scrimmage, waiting for the holes to open up, before bursting through to the 2nd level is an absolute thing of beauty. I’m sorry I’m just really excited.

Le’Veon is the type of player who can mask a mediocre O-line, help a young QB get easy yards and completions with his hands/YAC, and then help everyone’s kids with their homework in the locker room after the game. I made up that last part, but you see the point here: Le’Veon Bell immediately becomes the focal point of every team’s game plan next year and they’d be stupid to game plan any other way, because he’s REALLY GOOD AT FOOTBALL.

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I know a lot of people were back and forth about wanting Bell, and to that I think it’s important to remind people that if you’re not happy about this yet then you may have a problem. We can go on and on about whether he has a good attitude, or if he actually wants to be here as opposed to just chasing money, but none of that matters anymore.

Le’Veon Bell is here, folks. Embrace it. Bathe in it. Write it on your refrigerator. Get it tattooed on the inside of your tongue like you just arrived on Spring break with your bitches. He’s here, he’s wearing green, and he’s gonna make the Jets fun again.