Chopping Off Your Hand With A Circular Saw To Make $450,000 Is An A++++ Idea

BBC - Police in Slovenia have accused a woman of cutting off her hand with a circular saw – with the help of her family – to make a fraudulent insurance claim.

The 21-year-old and a relative have been detained and face up to eight years in prison if convicted.

The suspects recently took out injury insurance, police say.

The woman allegedly stood to gain about €400,000 (£340,000; $450,000) in compensation and monthly payments of about €3,000 from the policy.

Four members of the family were initially detained earlier this year, but two were later released.

Police say the group deliberately cut the woman’s hand above the wrist at their home in the capital Ljubljana.

Relatives took her to hospital, saying she had injured herself while sawing branches.

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What a family! My god, is this the greatest family in the world or what? Some families go to Disney World. Some families spend a weekend at the lake. This family though, this family is a real one. They go where no family has gone before. They take a loving member, chop off her hand with a circular saw, and then try to collect $450,000 from insurance money. That’s love! Nobody in my family has ever cut off their hand with a circular saw to help support the cause. We all had to “get jobs” to “support ourselves” and “pay for college”. What a load of shit.

And it gets even better:

Officials say the group left the severed hand behind rather than bring it to hospital, to ensure the disability was permanent. 

The ensure the disability was permanent!!!! They didn’t even want the outside chance that her hand would ever work again. I actually just got queasy typing that. Thinking about the blood and everything. Ugh. Gross. I’m trying to type “but still a wonderful idea” but my fingers are refusing to go along. I feel like Fletcher trying to write with the pen in Liar, Liar trying to finish this blog.

Here’s a puppy.