North Korea's Election Turnout Was 99.99 Percent, and The Results Were Unanimous!
Millions of North Koreans voted in the national polls on Sunday. The election is held every five years. Turnout in North Korea’s single-candidate election was 99.99 percent this year, up from 99.97 percent the last time it was held, state media reported.
Andddd the other .01% is now dead. Okay, that’s a complete joke. I do not want any smoke with North Korea, and I apologize for insinuating that there may be foul play within their country. In fact, I could see that the reason that only 99.99% of people turned out for the election is because their most humble leader, son of the man who once climbed the highest mountain peak in North Korea and then turned around and shot 11 hole in ones in his first ever round of golf, decided to not to vote for himself. Never vote for yourself, even if the other 25 million people do. It makes them want you even more.
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I actually think that the people of the United States could learn a little something from North Korea here. No, I’m not talking about anything political. Barstool is strictly a sports journalism site. But we’re also all human beings, despite what the Norman Chads of the world want to reverse personify us as. Anyways, it is nothing short of admirable that the entire country showed up for this election. Power to the people! And on top of that, they all agreed on who to elect! No dissension. Not even one iota!
“One hundred percent of them cast their ballots for the candidates for deputies to the SPA registered in relevant constituencies.”
Bravo, voters of North Korea! In my country, we recently had a contentious election that I believe split us further apart, rather than bringing us together. Maybe the citizens of the United States could take a page out of their free-trade agreement partners book on how to work together towards a common goal. Critics will point out that in North Korean elections, there is only one approved name on each ballot, but that’s just splitting hairs at this point. Those are glass half-empty people. Anyways, is there a place I’d rather live than the land of the free and home of the brave? No, there is not. But it’s not perfect. And I’m glad we’ve tasked our best men with the job of picking up the best of what everyone else has to offer…
