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I'm Still Not Right After Seeing Whitesoxdave Ravage A Gas Station Hot Dog Yesterday

Before I begin I’d like to point out that this has nothing to do with the war that Whitesoxdave and I are in over hot dogs.

This is strictly about the guy walking into an Arizona gas station and being a god damn vagrant. Where the hell do I even start with this video?

I guess we’ll go in chronological order.

First up is the “mayo bun”

Screen Shot 2019-03-11 at 8.48.11 AMI mean what the fuck is that? This one is more on Arizona. Are they really slathering mayo on their gas station hot dog buns? To each their own if they like that kinda thing, but how are they gonna give you the option to put on all those toppings, and then stick you with only mayo covered buns? Unless some sick asshole was wiping it onto all of those as a joke for people to walk into? It’s a head scratcher regardless.

Second and Third thing:

Screen Shot 2019-03-11 at 8.55.11 AMHere is where this nomad really comes to play. First, his proportionate topping spreading ability is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. He’s just sopping it on there like a 6 year old at a frozen yogurt shop. No attention to detail and sloppy as hell.

But, then he just leaves 4 lids up like he’s fucking King Lear. I couldn’t believe it. This guy is probably terrible to go on vacation with. He’s the asshole that leaves the door open at the cottage when there are 10 million mosquitos chomping at the bit to get in. You make an announcement to everybody asking them to shut the door, but this thick skull is leaving it wide open every time he has to walk back in to take a piss.

Fourth:

Screen Shot 2019-03-11 at 9.05.40 AMThe quick thumb lick.

This was instinctive so ya can’t fault him too much on it. Gotta get the mayo off that little piggy before you go on your hunt for the mustard, I guess.

Fifth and Final:

Screen Shot 2019-03-11 at 9.07.57 AMThe mustard bottle just getting tossed back into the rack without pushing the cap back on.

Maybe his greatest offense in this whole video. By this time I was screaming at my computer screen begging this fucking caveman to cover up the Barstool Chicago logo on his shirt. I just can’t even imagine how many things go rotten well before their expiration date in the Williams household. Just a remarkable move to not snap the top back on with your thumb real quick.

The final result was tough too:

Screen Shot 2019-03-11 at 9.09.58 AMBut, like I said I’m not here to talk about that.

These guys are in Arizona for the next few days getting content so be sure to follow @barstoolwsd, @barstoolcarl, and @barstoolchicago on Twitter/Instagram.

I’m confident that they can finish stronger than they started with Dave and this hot dog.