It’s the first Friday in Lent which means all you good Catholic boys at home are laying off the meat today. Good for you. Eternal Salvation through Christ Our Savior comes at a price and a large part of the cost is chalking up 8 days of No Meat each year.
No one said it was easy when your parents baptized you as a baby. In fact it’s quite hard. So with that here’s the unofficial list of the best options to get you through all your meatless Fridays. Some of these are no brainers, some of these are not. Either way, treat this as a cheat sheet to get you through the next couple weeks.
The godfather of all fish sandwiches. A brief description from McDonalds:
Our fish filet is made with Alaskan Pollock sourced from sustainable fisheries, topped with melty American cheese and creamy tartar sauce, and served on a soft, steamed bun.
This is a big time Dad sandwich and a lot of that has to do with the mindset it takes to enjoy a FoF. You have to really not give a fuck about anything to desire a Filet of Fish and I mean that nicely. That’s why it works so well with dads.
You can’t put a single on the list without also including the double. A lot of you anti-carb guys out there will find this option extra appealing. Only notable complaint is that they don’t double down on the tartar. Sometimes you need that extra Drip.
Egg Salad Sandwich
My grandmothers loved egg salad sandwich and that’s mostly because they were old ladies. This is very popular in the 65+ crowd. Nice thing is it gives you a chance to go Heavy Mayo and as you get older those opportunities just aren’t available. If you love a whole jar of the good stuff this option is for you:
Peanut Butter & Jelly
Pancakes / French Toast
Fish Fry (local church)
Spaghetti red sauce (always red sauce) homemade
Shrimp (Cocktail, mostly)
If you’re fancy maybe shrimp scampi but this is more like your dad just got back from Sam’s Club and had a couple samples when he was in, so now he’s thawing a 5 pound of shrimp that cost $25. It’s the first and last time you eat Shrimp cocktail as a family.
Pepper n egg sandwich
Grilled Cheese / Tomato Soup
Maybe if you’re from a nice suburb this was in your wheelhouse. Certainly not what I was eating as a kid but I feel like things have changed drastically from the 90’s. Either way now as an adult this becomes a much more attractive option because that’s life guys. Sushi’s not going anywhere.
Mac and Cheese
From my Dad: “Canned tuna, mayo and diced sweet pickles on a toasted english muffin topped with a slice of Kraft or Velveeta (your call) and then blasted in a microwave for 30-45 seconds depending on your wattage.”
Long John Silver
Aye Aye captain. What a place to finish. I think there’s like 15 locations left nationally but if you find one, immediately stop and get yourself a basket of whatever they’re serving. 4 hours later your colon will be clean as a whistle.