NOLA- New Orleans police are looking for a 26-year-old man who stole $300 from a Waffle House after he pretended to be an employee and took orders at the St. Roch restaurant last month. Tyrone Hamburg, pictured above, allegedly entered the Waffle House in the 2900 block of Elysian Fields Avenue around 8 p.m. on Feb. 12, police said. After changing into a Waffle House employee uniform, he prepped food and took orders before taking $300 from the register.
*Extremely Robert Kraft voice*
It’s (Danny) Ocean, (Carmen) Sandiego, (Tyrone) Hamburg. The three greatest crooks to allegedly ever grip a bag with a giant money sign printed on front and get into the thieving game. I imagine if you google “Waffle House robbery”, there is no shortage of results from over the years. Most of those stories likely involve your basic grip and rips with the occasional armed robbery thrown in. But to actually dress up as a Waffle House Employee and put in an honest day’s work before robbing the place
blind of enough money to buy a new PS4 is about as noble as it gets for a robber.
However, not only did Tyrone respect the robbery profession by being the most honorable thief this side of Robin Hood, but he also respected the restaurant that is always there for you when you need it after a long night at the bars. Granted acting nice ensures your customers won’t skip out on the bill you plan on pocketing and may even give a nice tip, that you once again can pocket. If Mr. Hamburg is ever apprehended by the authorities, I hope the good people at Waffle House deduct whatever wages he earned from his brief stint as a Waffle House employee and overlook any food he may have sneaked* while for pulling the most revolutionary move in restaurant heists the world has seen since Pumpkin and Honey Bunny started stealing customers’ wallets while knocking over diners 25 years ago.
*Tyrone Hamburg BETTER have gotten a taste of the good side of being a Waffle House employee by eating some free food while also giving himself a thief nickname of The Hamburglar. If not, this was all truly for nothing (or $300, which is pretty much the same thing. A free Waffle House uniform should definitely fetch more than that)