I moved away from home 6 months ago for school and work. It was the first time I’d been away from my family for so long. I met a friend at work. We decided to get an apartment and move in together. I really love living with him but I often wonder if I’m too attached to my roommate. Just to clarify: We’re both heterosexual, 21-year-old men. I have never had a roommate before, so I think I do a lot more than the average roommate. I cook, clean, do the shopping, and do both of our laundry. He does help out with household duties too. I feel like a housewife but honestly I don’t mind. I find myself always trying to make him happy or proud. I look up to him as a role model even though my friends don’t think that’s always a good thing. I don’t like going back to my hometown for long periods because I miss him. I don’t know what’s going on. Is this normal? Am I attached because I love taking care of people and treat him like my child? Am I attached because he fills the void of my family? Am I in love with having someone to go home to? The term “bromance” describes it perfectly but it’s often a joking term and I’m being dead serious. Why am I so obsessed/in love with my roommate?
– Confused In ‘Cuse
Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
A: This is your first time away from home, and you were so lonely before you moved in with this guy, CIC. His companionship cured the loneliness. No wonder you think he’s so cool.
My guess is that you’re in love with your new life and your roommate is just a part of that. You like keeping house. You like being a grown-up. You like that when you’re with him, you feel useful. That’s all OK.
But really, this sounds like a friend crush. It’s a new living situation and you’re thrilled with it. That’s all good. Just make sure that the rest of your life is full and busy. That’ll keep things in perspective.
See how you feel about him in a few more months (and after a few dozen more loads of laundry).
Readers? Is this relationship healthy? Is he using his roommate as a substitute for family or a relationship? Does this happen when we’re lonely? Why are his friends concerned? Discuss.
Everybody sent me this Love Letter today. Easiest one ever.
Dear Confused In ‘Cuse
You’re fucking gay. It’s 2013. Nobody gives a shit. Suck his dick and get it over with. And swallow too. Men love that shit.