Ranking The 5 Different Types Of Uber Rides
Ah yes, the 5 different types of Uber rides. We’ve been through them all, plus more. The ride where your driver tries to talk to you. The ride where you’re drunk and trying to talk to him. The drive where it’s a zillion degrees in there and the child-proof window lock is on. The ride where the driver is screaming into his cell phone his whole time and you want to die. Well George the Uber driver made a menu of different types of rides. He broke it down into 5 categories: The Stand Up, The Silent Ride, The Therapy Ride, The Creepy Ride, and the Rude Ride. Let’s rank them:
1-10,000: SILENT RIDE AND NOTHING ELSE
NOBODY WANTS TO TALK IN AN UBER RIDE!! NOBODY!! There are zero other types of acceptable rides. A hi how are ya, a good thank you, and a confirmation they have the right passenger and that’s all the doctor ordered. No small talk. No “so where ya from?” One time I had an Uber driver spend a half hour pitching me his start up. He said he had millions of dollars in investors already lined up. I never wanted to barrel roll out of a car more in my life.
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And the thing is, I hate feeling rude. I hate when I can tell that the Uber driver is just begging for conversation and I don’t want to be downright rude and ignore him, so I answer the first couple of questions and that opens the floodgates. And I feel bad because they probably get super bored just driving around all day and have thoughts on their mind they want to share, but 99% of the time, I honestly just don’t care. It’s like hey brother, I appreciate you wanting to be engaging and I’m sure your children are just delightful, but my focus right now is not on your family life.
It’s a tricky situation because you don’t want to be a dick. Plus you have to worry about your Uber rating. And you never know, maybe your driver just needs an ear to listen to his problems for 15 minutes so he doesn’t drive off a bridge. Makes it so damn tricky. But if we all agreed that the the standard should be silence and the passenger gets to decide the the level of conversation, we will avoid all problems.