Oh. Fuck. Yes.
Eater - Platinum-haired Triple D superstar Guy Fieri wants to blanket America in chicken tenders, with the help of Planet Hollywood founder Robert Earl. The duo launched a fast-casual chicken tender restaurant called Chicken Guy! (exclamation point apparently necessary) last year at Disney Springs in Orlando, and now they’re turning it into a chain: The second outpost will open at a mall in Miami this spring, with more locations to follow “across the country.” The menu includes fried and grilled chicken tenders and 22 sauces, plus skewers, bowls, sandwiches, and fries.
GO OFF KING.
Are you tired of Popeye’s? Tired of Chick-Fil-A? Tired of Church’s? Tired of KFC? Tired of Zaxby’s? Tired of Bojangles? Tired of Roy Rogers? Well then you are in luck, my friend. Because Guy Fieri is launching his own chain of chicken fingers and I absolutely cannot wait. You know what gets me? The 22 sauces. There’s this place in NYC called Sticky’s and it’s the best chicken fingers I’ve ever had. And then they also have a shit ton of sauces which make them even better. Sauces are the forgotten highlight when it comes to chicken fingers. Usually people just get honey mustard, but there’s a plethora of sauces and flavors out there just waiting for be dipped into. And that’s where Guy Fieri comes in. They didn’t elect him as the mayor of Flavortown for nothing. So when you combine the deliciousness of fast food, the deliciousness of chicken tenders, and the king of Flavortown himself, you are looking at a god damn masterpiece.
There’s zero point zero doubt in my mind Chicken Guy! is going to be anything other than fantastic. I’m just thinking about it, how if you’re driving on a road trip, and you see one of those signs that have all the fast food options on the next exit, and you see Guy’s face staring back at you, how are you not going to go there? What, are you going to keep eating those big bready subs from Subway? No chance. Chicken Guy! is the future and I cannot wait to watch Guy continue to take over the world.