I Just Added the Super Bowl LIII DVD Trailer to My Patriots Porn Collection

Belichick whooping it up. The group hug between him, Brady and Edelman with the word “love” filling the air like confetti. Hightower’s interception return against Kansas City in the Game of the Regular Season. Josh Gordon catching a bomb against Green Bay. Oh my God, Brady yelling “They can’t stop us”? Dorsett’s incredible grab in the AFC title game, followed by the McCourtys sharing a twin moment. The Super Bowl LIII DVD looks like a work of art, as we’ve come to expect from NFL Films.

This thing releases on March 6th. And not only am I preordering mine, I’m ordering a bigger cabinet for all my DVDs and Blu-Rays. Not to mention a shipment of tissues and plenty of fluids. I’m going to be needing them. Because who needs to get their Lombardi polished at an Asian day spa when you’ve got this?