Animal Rights Activists Are Super Mad At A Zoo That Let's People Play Tug Of War With A Lion But It Looks REALLY Fun

The Guardian- A zoo has been condemned by animal rights campaigners who have said it was cruel to charge visitors £15 to play tug-of-war with lions and tigers. More than 2,000 people have signed a petition calling on Dartmoor zoo, near Plymouth, to end the attraction pitting four people against a big cat. The “human v beast” competition allows visitors as young as eight to pull on a rope running beneath a gate and attempt to prise a slab of meat tied to the other end from the jaws of an animal. The zoo, in south-west England, argues the activity helps keep the male Amur tiger, Dragan, and African lion, Jasiri – who weigh 25 and 23 stone respectively – fit and healthy.

Animal activists are such pussies man. They really are. They just need to relax and take a deep breath. Be a human for 10 seconds. Do they know how fun it would be to play tug of war with a lion? That looks fun as SHIT. I’m not much of a risk taker but I would play tug of war with a lion in two seconds. I like playing tug of wars with dogs so I can only imagine that enjoyment transfers over (and likely increases) when played with a lion.

Let’s put all the cards on the table, zoos are a total snoozefest. They’re ambien in the form of an amusement park. Especially when compared to the other entertainment options that are out there in the world. For instance, I can look up every animal that’s in a zoo on my phone. You know what I can’t do on my phone? Play tug of war with a lion. The iPhone is good but it’s no that good. At the end of the day, running a zoo is a business and the fastest way to spice things up is to allow visitors to play tug of war with a full grown lion. That’s how you sell tickets. That’s how you put asses in the seats.

Also, do the animal activists not realize that the lion probably loves playing tug of war? I’ll admit that being cooped up in a zoo isn’t a great life for a lion but zoos are thing so it’s gonna happen. That’s the world we live in. So why not give the lion a little stress relief? Maybe put some skin in the game and have a rule that, if the humans lose to the lion in tug of war, one of the humans has to get eaten by the lion. That might not be legal but I’m an ideas guy not a lawyer. Something to think about though.