Brian Cashman Breaks His Ankle Skydiving

HOMESTEAD AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. — Yankee GM Brian Cashman loved the initial parachute jump with the Golden Knights of the U.S. Army so much Monday that he went back for a second trip. But Round 2 wasn’t as successful — Cashman, who said he heard a pop in his ankle as he landed, appeared to have broken his ankle on his second jump. Cashman jumped without incident his first time and called it “an incredible experience.” He was asked if wanted to go up a second time and agreed to do so, joining Sergeant First Class Noha Watts in the tandem jump. On the landing, however, he apparently caught his foot in the ground. As he was being tended to on the ground, he said, “I heard a pop in my ankle.” A fire rescue truck arrived with medical staff who tended to Cashman. One of the people near him said it appeared his ankle was broken, saying the bone was sticking out of his leg. Cashman was then taken to a local hospital for treatment. It was unclear if he would have to undergo surgery.

You know Cashman was just praying for that parachute to malfunction. Guy has probably the most thankless job in all of sports. Wakes up every day just hoping this is the day he dies so he doesn’t have to deal with fucking asshole Yankees fans complaining. Its probably like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Throws himself into traffic. Takes a bath with a toaster. Jumps out of planes. Whatever he can do so that he doesn’t have to listen to fans and media complain all day every single year.

Anything less than a World Series is a failure. Any time a single free agent goes by without a Yankees contract, he’s a failure. When he does sign the big free agent and they’re a bust, he’s a failure. At any given moment, Hank and Hal Steinbrenner can invoke the ghost of their father and make him do something he doesn’t wanna do. Guy has won 6 pennants and 4 World Series and he gets shit on like 90% of the time no matter what he does. And yes, he has the benefit of a big payroll and the allure of the New York Yankees, but so what? So do the Red Sox and the Mets and the Dodgers and never once have the Yankees had an embarrassing year like some of those franchises have had recently. He’s the one thats done it. The Yankees are one of the most successful franchises over the past 15 years and it seems like nobody gives Cashman any credit for that. The only legitimate knock on him is that whenever he gambles on a big time, high priced pitcher, he’s wrong. And wrong a lot. But at the same time he took a team that missed the playoffs in 08, made a bunch of free agent signings, and won a World Series in 2009. It goes both ways.

I’m not sitting here telling you I think Cashman is Billy Beane or some amazing baseball mind. I’m just saying his job fucking sucks. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place almost every single year and throughout it all his team won the AL East like 50 teams. You’d never know it by the way Yankees fans and the media act.

PS – You know Cashman is just dying to retire and sneak off to some tropical island with that crazy stalker of his and fuck her to death with his little Jewish dick