Someone Needs To Explain To This Girl How Much Creeps Will Pay For Foot Pics

Oh gosh, you really hate to see this. One million people follow the Chicks account on instagram, and over 40 thousand on twitter. That is a crap-ton of people. There are two things a girl should never show an entire Instagram/Twitter timeline: your nipples and your feet. You know why? Because you can make an insane amount of money for both of those things, so why put them on the internet for free?

A video of a girl eating a Dorito with her foot would drive some weirdos WILD. One time a guy offered me six thousand dollars for a single foot. I didn’t do it, but I could have, and that’s the point. This girl doesn’t realize the value of her feet and it’s downright upsetting. I mean, this girl has a foot pic patreon for fifty bucks a month. Even if she only has 19 active subscribers that’s 950 dollars more than I have.

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So, Dorito foot girl: I don’t know if you’re reading this, but if you are? Make sure the next time someone films you eating with your foot, it at LEAST goes on a Patreon. Otherwise you’re a chump, and I mean that as strongly as possible.