Dennis Rodman Is Now An Ambassador To North Korea

(NEWSER) – Who needs diplomats when you’ve got Dennis Rodman? The former NBA great, perhaps best known at this point for his flamboyant appearance and very messy personal life, has a new gig … as an ambassador to North Korea. Rodman arrived in the communist country today to engage in “sports diplomacy,” the AP reports. He and three members of the Harlem Globetrotters will be running a basketball camp for kids, playing some pickup games with locals, and competing against North Korea’s top athletes—and all of it will be filmed for an HBO special airing in April. “Is sending the Harlem Globetrotters and Dennis Rodman to [North Korea] strange? In a word, yes,” admits Shane Smith, host of the upcoming series. “But finding common ground on the basketball court is a beautiful thing.” And the move might make more sense when you consider that Kim Jong Un was reportedly a huge fan of the Chicago Bulls back in the 1990s, when Rodman helped the team win three championships. But his appearance may take some residents of the impoverished country aback: “He looks like a monster!” said one, who actually recoiled upon seeing a picture of tattoo-emblazoned Rodman.

This is just so crazy, it might work. For 2 reasons. The first being, who didn’t love the Jordan/Pippen/Rodman Bulls? I mean if fucking Kim Jong Un loved those Bulls, then everybody on the planet did. And secondly because the problem with North Korea is they’re so cut off from the rest of the world they have no idea what goes on in America. They think we live in palaces made of gold and sleep on beds made of money. Thats why they wanna blow us up with nuclear bombs. They don’t realize we’ve got sexual deviant monsters like Dennis Rodman running around. We gotta show them it ain’t all glitz and glamor in the West. We’ve got cross dressing, sexually confused alcoholic drug addicts who are nearly 7 feet tall. Thats some scary shit that we can all kinda bond over. If fucking ping pong can open the gates to diplomacy with China then Dennis Rodman and his crazy bi sexual ways can definitely smooth things over in North Korea.

Obligatory Dennis “I’m so in the mix right now” Rodman link.