Huffington Post – It’s hard for a lot of guys to admit to their wives that went to a strip club, let alone spending $1,000 on the attractions. Jesus Mata Jr., a 21-year-old from Texas, recently received a tax refund and decided to spend it at a strip bar called Whispers in La Feria. After he spent all the cash, he concocted a titillating tale to police about how six gunmen in two truck robbed him at gunpoint with assault weapons, TheDenverChannel.com reported. Investigators from the Cameron County Sheriff’s Department and the Harlingen Police Department tried to track down the trucks, but got suspicious when no leads emerged, Houston.CultureMap.com reported. When the detectives again questioned Mata, he admitted making up the story to hide the fact he blew the whole $1,000 wad, NewsFix reported. Mata was arrested and charged with filing a false report, according to KWTX-TV.
I respect that Jesus Mata Jr. really went outside the box for his robbery tale. 6 dudes with assault weapons and 2 trucks is the kinda shit thats almost so far fetched its got to be true. I don’t think I could ever make up a tale like that on the spot. I’d tell police that a gang of surfing ex-Presidents robbed me and police would be like “Sir you’re explaining the plot of the 1991 cult classic starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze “Point Break.” I just don’t know why he didn’t just stick to his story. No leads emerged because these guys were obviously fucking professionals. Executed a perfect heist. Deny, Deny, Deny, Jesus. When the alternative is telling your wife you spent a blow job’s worth of money at the strip club, you better be coming up with names and details and back stories and stick with it to the bitter end.
And I don’t know if I can speak for everyone on this, but I think a good old irresponsible session at the strip club is a necessary evil in this world. Like chicks will get a bonus or a tax refund and go buy a $1,000 bag. Guys will go to the strip club and hopefully buy an over the pants hand job from a couple Eastern European stripper-whores. Both are financially irresponsible but sometimes you just need to be a little selfish. Pamper yourself. Splurge and get it all out of your system. Splurge and splooge and get back to your budget.