A Man Almost Beat Up A Woman Over Their 4 Year Old Kid's Amateur Wrestling Match

There’s nothing more American than parents squaring off at their toddler’s athletic event. It’s apple pie, bald eagles, and moms and dads just throwing fists and tackling each other because their 4 year old stopped pooping his pants for 30 seconds to try and beat another 4 year old in a sport where he has literally zero idea what’s going on. I love when it’s tee-ball fights because there is nothing and I mean nothing that should ever get anyone worked up in tee-ball, but yet some mom will have too much wine at breakfast and next thing you know she has a death grip on the opposing coach’s throat.

And now I think I’m on to something. I’ll have to make some phone calls, but were parents at our little league games getting drunk on the down low? Were they secretly sipping irish coffees on the sidelines of our 8am soccer games? That would make a TON of sense to me now that I think about it. Like thinking about those 6pm Wednesday night little league games, were all the moms sitting there sipping wine, getting a little buzz on while they wait for the hell known as having kids finally ends? And then every so often you end up downing a bottle of wine before the 6th inning and gotta fist fight a parent on the other team who told the left fielder to move in when your kid went up to bat. It all makes sense now.