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Times Square Voted Happiest Place In New York City

NY PostTimes Square isn’t just the crossroads of the world — it’s the happiest spot in the Big Apple. The flashy strip and its surrounding streets — along with Midtown in general — host the most satisfied people in the city, according to a study of Twitter messages sent from the area. Times Square visitors think they know why. “We’re wonderfully happy — but we’re on vacation,” said Anthony Blair, 30, who was hanging out in Times Square yesterday. Researchers from the University of Vermont mapped out the city’s happiest areas using a complex formula that can pinpoint tweet locations and rate their relative “happiness” and “sadness” based on certain key words. While it did not rank neighborhoods in order of happiness, the data made clear that the biggest concentration of happy tweets came from Times Square and the surrounding area.

Says fucking who? The Asians clogging up the sidewalks as they just take pictures of electronic billboards? Thats gotta be it right? Just thousands upon millions of Asians with their Nikon cameras stopping every two feet to take pictures of the sky and shit. Because the rest of us are tweeting about how Times Square Spider Man punched a woman in the face. The bum who ran head first into the subway train at Times Square station to kill himself. How Times Square Super Mario sexually assaulted a 60 year old woman. Cripples fighting with their crutches – although I’ll be honest that did make me happy. And last but not least, the blood stained streets after the police shot and killed a knife wielding maniac.

So forgive me if I don’t believe this twitter study analyzing the happiest places in New York City. Times Square is the 7th Circle of Hell and anyone who says otherwise is a tourist who lights bright lights and shiny pictures for a couple hours on their vacation.