Time - A 27-year-old Indian businessman is planning to sue his parents for bringing him into the world without his consent. The BBC reports that Raphael Samuel from Mumbai identifies as “anti-natalist,” a belief that life is so insufferable that people should stop procreating. “There’s no point to humanity. So many people are suffering,” Samuel said, according to the BBC. “If humanity is extinct, Earth and animals would be happier. They’ll certainly be better off. Also no human will then suffer. Human existence is totally pointless.” Samuel, who acknowledges that it would be impossible to gain consent from an as-yet-unconceived human, has yet to find a lawyer to take up his case. Further tempering his goal, his parents are both lawyers. “I must admire my son’s temerity to want to take his parents to court knowing both of us are lawyers,” his mother, Kavita Karnad Samuel, said in a statement. “And if Raphael could come up with a rational explanation as to how we could have sought his consent to be born, I will accept my fault.” Samuel created a Facebook page about a year ago called Nihilanand, the BBC reports, where he posts anti-natalist messages eliciting a range of responses. One commenter reportedly advised him to “go kill yourself,” while others have shown strong support for his ideas. Samuel says he has a good life but wanted to sue his parents on principle. “I wish I was not born,” he told the BBC. “But it’s not that I’m unhappy in my life. My life is good, but I’d rather not be here. You know it’s like there’s a nice room, but I don’t want to be in that room.”
Big mood. Enormous mood. Life, in general, is the ultimate “I didnt ask for this shit” thing in the whole fucking world. Honestly I’ve I had known what this “life” thing entailed I woulda aborted myself. A little Prenatal Suicide on em. You know when parents play classical music and shit like that for their kid in the womb? Trying to make them into a genius or something? Well what they really should be doing is telling their kid what the deal is with life. Just read them the pros and cons. Heres what your childhood might be like, heres what your adolescence could be, here is how much adulthood sucks. Give me a conservative, average, and aggressive estimate of how much my life is gonna suck. Like “Ok chances are you’ll be pretty smart, and average looking. Both of your parents are. But also you might be ugly as sin and dumb as rocks. Thats definitely on the table.” “Maybe you’ll find love or maybe everyone will hate you.” “You might have a normal job and normal life or you might be a public pariah and outcast in the tabloids.” You know, all that type of shit. And then let me decide. Let me hang out for a few months and let it marinate. And then maybe I come strutting out of that pussy or maybe I wrap myself up in that umbilical cord. We’ll see.
And not for nothin, Raphael Samuel, while we are here… have you ever thought of the possibility of getting hit with a countersuit? Have you ever thought that you’re not the only person who’s upset with the way your life turned out? Because I’ll tell you what – your parents probably wish you werent alive either. If “life” is the ultimate “I didnt sign up for this” type of thing, then parenthood is right behind it at #2. You think your parents dont wanna sue your ass for turning into the type of asshole to talk about how you didnt “give consent to childbirth?” Babbling on about how pointless existence is and all this human suffering talk? They probably fucking hate you, dude. I mean if my kid ever says to me “Its not that I’m unhappy its just that I want to be dead. Like I like my life, I just dont like life. You know?” I hope they run away from home forever. Just get out of here, kid. You suck.
Because when you have a kid you cross your fingers and hope that you just produced the next Lebron James or the next Mark Zuckerberg. Maybe you just popped out a Golden Ticket thats gonna make the endless amounts of poop and pee worth it. Maybe you’ll recoup all the time and money you spend on them when they strike it rich with their brain or their body. Theres like a 0.00000001% chance but you hold out hope. And then when thats very clearly not happening, you say to yourself “Alright well as long as they arent an annoying self absorbed asshole, we should be good.” Well what happens when you find out thats exactly what they are? You cant just break up with them like when you realize youre dating an asshole. Cant just cut them out of your circle like when a friend starts being annoying. Parents are stuck with these fucking kids who turn into dipshits. They didnt consent to you being a fucking dick. So go ahead and file your lawsuit. Stamp your feet and do your little protest about life and how much it sucks but dont be surprised when you get your ass served, too. I’m checking for my parents papers in the mail every day.