Huff Po – Two senior citizens in Sonora, Calif., got an early Valentine’s Day present from the local cops: Tickets for indecent exposure. Authorities say Linda Titus, 72, and Garry Wells, 62, were caught on Feb. 13 naked and having sex in a car parked in the lot of a local barbecue restaurant on Feb. 13, the Sacramento Bee reported. The two allegedly showed up in separate cars at Doc’s Texas BBQ & Burgers, ordered chicken and started porking in full view of other customers, Fox40.com reported. Restaurant owner Rachael Shevlin had a bone to pick with the seniors’ saucy behavior. “It gets hot back here and it was obviously getting hot out there,” Shevlin told KOVR-TV. “I mean, in the middle of the day too. What?” Authorites who were called to the scene found Titus and Wells “unclothed” and “sexually engaged” in the back seat of a car, according to DigitalJournal.com. The two were given tickets for indecent exposure, MyMotherLode.com reported.
Not many things will bring a smile to my face quite like the tale of two senior citizens meeting up at 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon to get their fuck on outside of Doc’s Texas BBQ. In straight booty call fashion too. Meet in separate cars in the parking lot, order some chicken, and knock some geriatric boots. Gives me hope for the future, you know? Like you know what I did for Valentine’s Day? I went to a 6:15 early bird reservation at a steakhouse. Went to a wine bar after. Was so completely shitfaced a couple hours later I went home and ordered cheesy bread to finish the night and passed out. No sex. No romance. Fucking Blade Runner was a better boyfriend than I was this Valentines Day. I’m like 28 going on 88 with early dinners and bedtimes.
But then I hear the tale of Garry Wells the day before Valentine’s Day breaking off some dick for his 72 year old booty call. Reminds me that age is a state of mind. Not a number. There’s no age requirements to be able to eat barbecued chicken and fuck. No time restrictions on when you can smash in a local parking lot. Romance and sex and love is alive and well in this world. Seize the day and seize the 70 year old barbecue chicken sluts who want a drumstick and a couple biscuits.